Featured Posts
Geek Alert: Network Science Says We Have More Control Than We Think
Network science helps explain why I am so optimistic that most people in the world ultimately have good intentions, and therefore why I’m able to confidently enter new situations with strangers day after day after day. The people I choose to connect with are the “cooperators” instead of the “defectors,” to use the language of game theory.
Welcoming: Who, Where, and Why
I thrive on self-expansion, and I have a hunch you do as well. Being exposed to new points of view fulfills people’s ”fundamental desire to expand the self—that is, to increase their self-efficacy, perspectives, competence, and resources.” Here’s why that matters in our own neighborhoods as well as new place.
Reflecting on My 24 Years in St. Louis
When I arrived in St. Louis in May 2001, I couldn’t have imagined living in this region for 24 years. And even after two decades, I don’t feel like an expert. So I was bemused to be invited onto the B Side podcast with hosts JB Anderson of Gaslight Studios and Anthony Bartlett of Acclimate to talk about becoming a St. Louisan.
Skol! to the Haters
While I wait for the pro football season to start, here’s a fun little tidbit:
“Minnesota is credited as the birthplace of modern cheerleading. In 1898, male University of Minnesota student Johnny Campbell led the first organized cheer at a football game. Men have continued to appear on both professional and collegiate cheerleading teams in the state since.”
Putting One Foot in Front of the Other
When I was a kid in the 1970s, my family played a tiny role in a cross-country walk by an activist named Esther “Little Dove” John. A solo Black woman walking across the North Dakota plains to promote peace stood out in great detail from my everyday routine. And I can see why the idea of walking long distances to support a cause endures. The physical manifestation of the mental stamina needed to navigate hard times will always be compelling.
Three Cheers for Family Adventures
An ode to adventures together as we grow older, whether we’re related by blood or by spirit, as highlighted by my family reunion and some very inspiring senior cheerleading squads.
How Did You Get Here?
We’re not always very brave when it comes to hearing the truth about what people went through to get where they are now. Generational trauma is a real thing, and burying the hard realities that happened in the past does not make them go away. On the other hand, neither does seeking revenge on the perpetrators.
During these difficult times when we have so many questions about others’ motives, perhaps a good place to turn our curiosity is into our own families’ past.
College Degrees of Separation
With all the hullabaloo about elite institutions of higher education, I’m reminded of the movie “Caddyshack.” The tension between becoming “polished” by the university system and retaining one’s authenticity is nothing new. It’s just that now we’re finally talking about it.
Being ‘That Kid’ While a Nation Watches
During the 2024 Democratic National Convention, when Gov. Tim Walz’s son, Gus, was bursting with pride in his father, I weighed the idea of adding the story to my tracker. I thought about what a whirlwind it must have been to have gone from relative obscurity in the Midwest to a national stage. Recently Gus Walz agreed to a profile by a news organization, and I’m thrilled to have an opportunity to share his perspective in his own words.
A Girl with a Fast Car
My first car (1979 Datsun) was not nearly as cool as Margaret Gasperi Kloecke’s first car. I bet yours wasn’t either. And do you still have it? Me neither—but Margaret does. Her bright purple 1970 Dodge Charger is in such pristine condition that it’s a national treasure.
Living a Red, White and Blue Reality
My friend Leo is a cybersecurity manager, a Marine veteran, and a nature lover who posts beautiful photos on social media. He’s the kind of guy you’d turn to in a pinch. If you happened to meet Leo on the street, you would see his easy smile and never connect it with the somber Marine pictured above, let alone a 13-year-old desperately holding things together after a life-altering event—a shared reality for all too many Americans.
Game Time for Rookies
Sports have an undeniable element of risk, physically and emotionally. Unlike other forms of entertainment which are carefully choreographed and rehearsed so they are performed with perfect consistency each time, sports are unpredictable. The energy of the unknown is powerful and beautiful … as long as you’re willing to embrace the chance that your team might lose. That tension provides a rush of adrenaline with every tip or face-off or kick-off. It’s not for everyone, but it’s definitely for me.
Like Mother, Like Daughter
One of my favorite photos shows my toddler son sitting on my desk, gripping a pen in his chubby hand, scribbling in one of my notebooks with a look of utter concentration. He grew up with a penchant for telling stories, and although his chosen media are not the same as mine, I love that he feels comfortable sharing his creativity with the world.
I imagine that’s how my friend Lisa feels about her daughter, Fiona. They both threw caution to the wind and tried something new recently. And then they both wrote with vulnerability and charm about what they did. The situations are totally different, but I think you’ll agree that jumping off a cliff might actually be the easier of the two adventures.
First-Person Writing About Addiction
Many of my friends have successfully overcome addition. So many I’ve lost count. And my guess is that most of our mutual friends don’t know anything about the challenges in their past. I understand and respect that it’s a private matter. But I also know through personal experience how powerful the stories of sobriety can be when told in public. Here are two of them.
Hosting Myself Out of a Party
What if you hosted a party and nobody came? Or worse, only one person came, so you had to put on a brave face for hours until the event was over and you could have a good, long cry?
It would be damn tempting to never have a party again. Or at least not a Soulard Mardi Gras parade pre-party.
But at some point during the long year between one Lent and the next, it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, there was another perspective on why people who had partied with me in the past didn’t return.
Finding Joy in the Unknown
“The true test is not whether you can access other realities, have connections to other worlds, sit perfectly in ceremonies, knows the right prayer, or access the guidance of divine masters. // The true test is whether you can sustain the vibration of Love amid life's most painful experiences and struggles.”
Cannamom Break Stereotypes?
Kimberlee Kesterson and Jessica Carroll have been cannabis users for longer than they’ve been parents—but both facets of their identity dovetail in STL Cannamoms, the social organization that they founded three years ago. And it turns out there were a lot of other parents just like them looking to connect and improve their well-being.
Feeling a Little Betrayed
Being “a little betrayed” is like being “a little pregnant.” Not possible. My guess is that a lot of us are feeling it right now. And not admitting it. Again, kind of like pregnancy. At first the information is shared on a need-to-know basis. Then suddenly everything shifts and it takes over your entire life every waking moment. I will warn you now: A single book or movie about betrayal is not going to be enough of a balm. You need an entire series.
Trusting Your Life to Golden Coils of Grass
Does it take courage to be the first one to cross this one-of-a-kind bridge, re-woven from grass every June? Or does it take trust in the craftsmanship of one man, descended from five centuries of bridge-builders? I’m completely fascinated by this story from Eliot Stein’s book “Custodians of Wonder: Ancient Customs, Profound Traditions, and the Last People Keeping Them Alive.”
Nature v Nurture x Two
This father was prepared for his role in nurturing twin “mini-beasts” when his daughters made their appearance on April Fool’s Day 2024. What he wasn’t prepared for was the realization that they were by nature already distinct from each other. It led him to an insight that shook up everything he had believed before: “Our greatest work as humans is to reveal that vitality, that exceptionalism in ourselves and to inspire the same in others.”